I would love to blame it on Youtube, the internet, or ‘kids these days.’
There are a whole lot of great teens and pre-teens out there. They are inherently good, respectful, and mature. Some of them have been catching me off guard lately. They have mouths on them that our grandparents would have washed out with soap. What’s troubling is that they swear on the ice, in the dressing room, and in front of coaches not even realizing what they are saying, or that it is inappropriate. Just this week I have interjected 3 times when kids have sworn right in front of me. They have seemed confused, surprised, and have even denied it! I don’t remember having the guts, or perhaps the ignorance, to swear in front of my teachers and coaches.
Wouldn’t it be easy for me, as a coach and leader, to blame it on their peers, their surroundings, the internet, media, and of course Youtube? Yesterday something dawned on me. One player, who I know very well, who looks up to his coaches, and accepts constructive criticism and feedback quite well had a great excuse for his poor language. “My other coach doesn’t mind when I swear.” Through a lack of consistent messages, he’s been told it’s fine. Or maybe he doesn’t know one way or the other, but the lack of clarity seems to suggest it’s fine.
What Can I Do?
- I could find all his coaches, teachers, parents, friends, and influencers in his life and tell them we are going to change our approach. Wait a second, no I can’t. That is not realistic.
- The only person I can control is myself. If over communicating clarity is one of the key foundations of being a great leader, then I have to do a better job setting expectations for the kids I coach.
- They need to know, every day, every practice, what is appropriate, and what is not.
- If I get upset every time I hear bad language, my head might explode, so rather I need to deliver the message, day in, day out, with poise, patience, and confidence.
- The players I coach need to know what we tolerate, and what we don’t.
By over communicating clarity, maybe I really can be the positive change I want to see in the world.
